On the edge.

I understand you can be frustrated with me. But why do you only challenge of all your kids? I know I’m the black sheep. I know that some things i do are not what you desire. But what do yu expect when you have a child with a mind of her own? 

Yes, I stay out late doing community service. Not because I am required but because it’s my passion. You say I rather help random people than help my own family. But that’s not true. Do you see how fortunate our family is? You say the only things i ask you for is money. But every cent is going towards college. You say I never ask you for anything else. What is there to ask for? I handle school work, work, and personal situations on my own because i can manage them. Shouldn’t you be proud that your child is going to college and willing to make something out of herself? I’m sorry that the only thing i need is financial help. I hope I’m not asking for too much. 

I miss those days. The old days. Where everything was fine, and all those emotional problems we had, could be resolved in a quick second. The solutions were each others’ advice. Today, felt like it was right. It felt like nothing changed, besides the awkwardness in the beginning. But that’s okay because everything else slowly but rightfully fell in place. Last time, we spoke too much of her and this time, we did not speak of her at all. Which made everything much better. 

Honestly, I wanted to ask you ” Are you really, sincerely happy? And what do you see in her? And what is making you so attached to her? And why are you doing this to yourself?” All these questions I had to hold back because I did not want to bring down the mood. But one the most important thing I had to say, which i never got the chance to was tell you how much better off you will be without her. And how she is the one in need of you to make her life better. She would be way worse without you than you would be without her. These words, I dont know how to say or when to say them…

Anyone from there..? (:

Anonymous asked: The reason, i showered you with gift yesterday is because I felt that you deserve. You've gone through so much, you're a giver but I think you deserved to be the one receiving this year. -anon

Who are you!? But whoever you are, thank you. Thank you for the balloons, teddy bear, and chocolate covered strawberries. Thank you for everything. The strawberries were delicious. (:

You’d think taking time apart will make each other realize how much you need each other. Need to cherish each other and be more understanding. But why do you act the same way? The only thing that has changed is your attitude towards things, and it’s not even positive.